Professional interpretation of the pregnant one

Dorry has agreed to dictate a post, but since she is not a professional blogger I will help interpret what she is saying.

Dorry: "I am feeling okay but definitely hungry."
Interpretation: I can't feel my legs (and that's good), but damnit, bring me a cheeseburger.

Dorry: "My loving husband brought me a Popsicle."
Interpretation: That useless sap has finally done something to get off of his can and help me out. He will never know the pain or sacrifice, but at least he can walk his lazy butt down the hall and get me a cherry treat--nice work.

Dorry: "My epidural is working; however, I can still feel my body"
Interpretation: IF YOU DON'T CRANK THIS THING UP SOMEONE IS GOING TO LOSE A BODY PART. ESPECIALLY, YOU, MR. SMUG BLOGGER.

Dorry: "I am so tired. I would really like to take a short nap."
Interpretation: HELLO FLOYD FAMILY. Please for the love of God, GET OUT OF MY ROOM. You people could wake the dead! I am pregnant, have been in labor for 7 hours, haven't eaten a bite, and you loudmouths want to party in my freaking room!

Dorry: "I really thought this boy would have been here by now."
Interpretation: Get out of my BELLY!

Dorry: "I have a lot of tubes wires and monitors on me."
Interpretation: If one of you people pokes, prods, or rolls me over with my bum in the air, one more time, I will roundhouse kick you into next week. Chuck Norris knows no fury like a pregnant woman.